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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 25.06.2025 08:45

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why am I totally different than others? Why do I have a problem with my basic knowledge about society and reality? Why am I dumb and stupid?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

In an interview Donald Trump said Taylor Swift could be a success in the music industry if she was not so liberal. What do you think? Is Trump correct that Swift is failing as a singer and should listen to his advice about her politics?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Do Americans realize how much goodwill and credibility they've lost in the past two weeks?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”